Be fashionable - Nazi's rules

Nazi (pronounced Naw-zee – not like the political party) is my stylist. And she has rules. They include some pretty good suggestions, like:

• Wear something tight on top and loose on the bottom (or vice versa) for contrast and layer, layer, layer. I’ll show you layers – of back fat!

• Don’t wear a choker necklace: It brings attention to your neck, which she says is the least flattering part of your body. I’m not sure that’s true in my case, I have a couple of pretty ugly toes. But I can go with this one.

• Don’t mix black and navy. I think I knew this, but does it count when I accidentally wear a black shoe and a navy one because it was dark and maybe I had a glass too much of wine last night?

In addition, Nazi tells me:

• NEVER wear sneakers except to the gym;

• NEVER wear flip flops except to the beach; and

• ALWAYS dress as if you will meet the man of your dreams while you are out – at the grocery, drug store, cleaners? Well, that could be good: he’s showing his feminine side. Or it could be bad: He can’t afford to pay someone to do this! (Sorry, that sounded snippy)

• ALWAYS wear multiple bracelets, necklaces, rings but ONLY wear big cocktail rings and not on ring finger if you don’t want men to think you are married. I’m just picturing myself at the airport bedazzled with miles of chains and rings – like Mr. T. Glad they don’t make us take off all jewelry any more.

“Really cute” (pronounced rullycute) is her favorite expression. I like it when she says that to me. It doesn’t happen too often.